Vet tech discovers her future mother-in-law has been intentionally planning every family event on her scheduled work weekends, finally confronting fiancé, Marcus, after another clash over an early Christmas lunch: 'Marcus sends her my roster every month'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Nov 30, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Most jobs make it extremely difficult to get the perfect work-life balance. We are often so busy working that we struggle to make time for those we love. So it is important to surround yourself with people who help you lighten the heavy load, ensuring you have the easiest and most drama-free time balancing the two. This mother-in-law is working hard to do just the opposite! 

Her son's fiancée is a vet tech with an overwhelmingly busy schedule that often requires her to work every second weekend. She politely sent in her schedule to her fiancé, who passed it over to his mother, who plans frequent family events. So his mother is well aware of her availability weeks in advance. Yet, according to her, due to 'unfortunate coincidences', she plans every family function for the days she knows her daughter-in-law cannot attend! Birthday dinners, Sunday barbecues…you name it, and this mother will schedule it (exactly when her son's fiancée is unavailable) 

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  • Once is a mistake, the tenth time lacks excuses. Clearly, she has a problem with her daughter-in-law, shown by her inability to include her in anything. This DIL finally confronts her fiancé about his mother's exclusive ‘tendencies’, but he is evidently struggling to take her concerns seriously. Mama's boy or not, it is important that he stands up to his mother, whose life's purpose seems to be making his soon-to-be wife feel unwelcome…

  • Young vet and a woman writing notes from her computer
    via sydaproductions

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for telling my fiancé I'm done attending his family events

    I (29F) have been with Marcus (31M) for almost 3 years, engaged for about 4 months now.
    via South_Olive291
  • Things with his family have always been... fine? His mom Lorraine was never super warm to me but I figured that's just how some people are.
    via South_Olive291
  • I work as a vet tech at an emergency animal hospital in Adelaide. I love my job but the schedule is rough.
    via South_Olive291
  • I work rotating weekends and I've explained this probably a hundred times. Weekend shifts pay better and I can't just swap them whenever I want.
    via South_Olive291
  • Here's the thing. For the past maybe 6 months? Could be longer honestly. Lorraine has been scheduling "important family events" on weekends she KNOWS I'm working.
    via South_Olive291
  • And I mean she knows because Marcus literally sends her my roster every month. She asked him to so she could "plan around it." First it was her birthday dinner.
    via South_Olive291
  • Then it was a cousin's engagement party. Then some anniversary thing for her parents. Every single one scheduled on my weekend shifts.
    via South_Olive291
  • At first I thought it was coincidence. Bad luck. But last month she planned a "family BBQ" and when Marcus mentioned I'd be working she said "oh that's a shame, I suppose work comes first for some people." I finally snapped after this week.
    via South_Olive291
  • She's planned an early Christmas lunch for December 14th. I'm working. When Marcus told her she apparently said "well I've already sent invites, she'll just have to figure it out." I told Marcus I'm done.
    via South_Olive291
  • Senior woman taking notes on her computer
    via rido

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I'm not rearranging my life anymore and I'm not going to keep feeling guilty for having a job.
    via South_Olive291
  • He thinks I'm being dramatic and that his mum "doesn't mean it like that." But here's what gets me.
    via South_Olive291
  • She's retired. She could pick literally ANY day. And she always picks mine. Marcus says I'm reading too much into it and that I should just ask to swap shifts more.
    via South_Olive291
  • But I've already swapped twice this year for his family stuff and my coworkers are getting annoyed with me.
    via South_Olive291
  • Also I genuinely cannot afford to lose weekend rates right now with the wedding coming up.
    via South_Olive291
  • I don't know. Part of me thinks maybe I AM being paranoid. But the pattern is right there??
    via South_Olive291
  • AITA for putting my foot down?
    via South_Olive291
  • A garden lunch with the extended family
    via sydaproductions

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Last-Initiative8151 NTA and honestly the fact that she asked for your roster "to plan around it" and then does the exact opposite is wild. That's not coincidence, that's strategy. But I'm more concerned about Marcus here. He SENDS her your schedule. He sees the pattern. And his response is that YOU should swap shifts more? That's not a Lorraine problem, that's a Marcus problem. Have you two done any premarital counseling? Because this isn't going away after the wedding. If anything MILs like thi
    via Last-Initiative8151
  • Accomplished_Win4732 Marcus calling you "dramatic" is the real red flag here. like bro, your fiancée is literally being iced out by your mom and you're just shrugging?? embarrassing behavior tbh.
    via Accomplished_Win4732
  • JuniperPanini I would send an altered work schedule for the next month and see if things magically get scheduled for the weekends you "work."
    via JuniperPanini
  • Flimsy Meat427 and Marcus... my dude needs to grow a spine before the wedding or you're gonna end up fighting his mom by proxy for the next 40 years. like if he won't set boundaries now, WHEN??
    via FlimsyMeat427
  • Past-Anything9789 NTA - how much do you want to bet that if he tells her he won't be attending without you, the calendar will miraculously clear up. Unfortunately that requires your fiance to actually stand up to her on your behalf. I think you need to be pretty clear to him that you need him to support you. Otherwise you may as well get used to a lifetime of being excluded from family events.
    via Past-Anything9789
  • really-just-dont Well: you, me, your co-workers and your MIL know that it is not a coincidence. Strange that your partner seems to be the only one not noticing the obvious? So what are you going to do? 1/ you can ignore it and let him go alone? Either he does start to notice that you are the only one missing? Or he doesn't and you know he actually doesn't care. 2/ you confront both your partner and your mil. Results unclear. But your partner at least should demand that you be included everywhere
    via really-just-dont
  • Fox-Possum-3429 Give Marcus a fake roster with your shifts alternated Amazingly you will be available on those 'work days'. Lorraine will love it when you turn up →
    via Fox-Possum-3429

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calendar drama job mother in law family fiancee exclusion
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